The Weird Teletubbies

April 1999:

I remember the first time I saw the Teletubbies on TV. It was rather weird - four creatures, one blue, one red, one green and one yellow, running around like crazy with some kind of antennas on their big heads and television screens in their tummy's. There were white rabbits everywhere and it looked like the creatures were gonna stomp them to death any moment. Well they didn't, but as the rabbits fled for their lives one of the creatures had a film showing on it's "teletubby". The film was about some baby taking a ride in a bicycle cart, and when it was over they rolled it all over one more time. I thought it was a mistake and that someone at the TV company had goofed up, but it turned out it was supposed to be that way... in fact they ALWAYS roll the films twice. Well as I said, I thought it was a rather weird show, but it would soon get even weirder. The next day I went to the supermarket to do some shopping, and guess what - I hadn't noticed but sometime during the last weeks we had been invaded! There were Teletubbys everywhere, on T-shirts, on schoolbags, on cups, on paint books and there were dolls of every size too.

There have been quite some controversies over the Teletubbys, starting with a "war" in Britain between parents supporting the "tubbys", and parents supporting Playdays, the show it replaced. According to the Playdays-supporters the Teletubbies aren't educational enough, and too odd. Controversially continued as the "tubbies" went to the US. According to Henry Labalme, executive director of TV Free America, the series represents "a new low" in children's programming. "TV for kids is a bad idea to begin with. To hook infants and toddlers is a giant step in the wrong direction." TV-Free America is a nonprofit organization that sponsors National TV-Turnoff Week (April 22-28), encouraging Americans to "reduce, voluntarily and dramatically, the amount of television they watch in order to promote richer, healthier and more productive lives, families and communities." A load of authors, academics and psychiatrists are on the board. And on top of this the well known US "TV-evangelist" and "bible-thumper" Rev. Jerry Falwell decided the Teletubbies were evil, and accused them of being dangerous to the kids of America since it "promoted unnatural sexual behavior.". He based this upon the fact that the purple Tinky Winky (who is a male) frequently carries a handbag, which, according to Falwell, probably mean he is gay.

Itsy Bitsy Entertainment Co., which licenses the Teletubbies in the United States, don't agree with him but claims the purse is actually Tinky Winky's magic bag. (I'd hate to agree with Falwell, but wouldn't it be suiting with a magic bag for a "fairy"?... OK I'm sorry - it just slipped out of me! - and also, purple IS used as the official color of homosexuals.)

Since the appearance of the Teletubbies, the Web has exploded with tubbie fan-sites, as well as with anti-tubbie sites, and just as Fox did with X-files sites, the legal department of the BBC has been hunting these sites down and threatened their webmasters/webmistresses with legal action for publishing pictures, sounds and for using the word Teletubbies.

Standard layout of a Teletubbies show:
• Intro song
• Windmill spins, Teletubbies run around madly
• Teletubbies say hello
• Short story/event
• Windmill spins, Teletubbies run around madly
• Teletubbies stand on a hill
• Each Teletubby in turn receives a small transmission flash on their tummy
• One Teletubby is honored with the full transmission film and is very happy
• The (live action) film is shown - maybe a story, a song, or a film about a child
• When it is over, the Teletubbies say "Again, again!"
• The film is shown again
• Teletubbyland based story, usually with some vague moral
• If time allows, a vignette happens
• Windmill spins, Teletubbies run around madly
• Teletubbies stand behind hills, voice says good-bye to them, they say good-bye and duck down behind hills
• One Teletubby jumps up and says "Boo!", others follow suit
• Voice says "Nooo" in a smiley voice, Teletubbies repeat
• Voice says good-bye again, Teletubbies say good-bye and duck down behind hills
• Sun sets
• In turn, Teletubbies say good-bye again, then jump into hole in roof of house
• Whichever Teletubby jumped up earlier pops out of the hole, waves and says "Bye bye!"
(Based on research made by Phil.. )